The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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