Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
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Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
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Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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