It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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