Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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