Whatcha textin bout Willis?
honey bunches of taint.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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