Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
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