i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
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My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
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I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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