my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
this just has baby written all over it
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize