im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize