Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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