I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize