She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Randomize