Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
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Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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