I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
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Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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