You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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