Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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