i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize