And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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