You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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