nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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