did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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