if i can run in heels then i can drive
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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