We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize