She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize