I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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