all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize