YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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