What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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