Nicole vs. Life
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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