Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize