TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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