his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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