It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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