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lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Randomize
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