literally had 100 drinks last night.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
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I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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