She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
ok first of all what the fuck
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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