Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize