You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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