Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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