I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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