Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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