everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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