bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize