What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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