i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize