Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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