How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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