He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize