Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
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He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
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I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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