i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
third nipple confirmed
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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